Tuesday, December 27, 2011

The Macho Nacho Burger

I am a huge fan of the Nacho Burger at Buffalo Wild Wings, so today I decided my own Nacho Burger that was so good, I had to call it the Macho Nacho Burger!

Slather some Famous Daves Devils Spit BBQ Sauce on your party while grilling, or any other BBQ sauce of your choice.

Melt some pepper jack cheese on top.

Put a few spoonfuls of nacho cheese on top of your burger.

Add tortilla strips, jalapeƱos, and lettuce. Maybe a little onion and tomato as well!

Top it off with some BBQ sauce, not too much and BOOM! There you have it!

Sunday, December 18, 2011

We are now on Twitter!

Follow us on Twitter for even more thoughts and reviews on where and what we are currently eating!

@HungryJerks

Friday, December 16, 2011

Free Gross Burger King Fries Today!


Burger King is going on and on about their "new" fries. So much so that today, you can go in and get yourself some for free! So what is so insanely awesome and "new" about these fries that they are doing this??

They're bigger!

Yeah, that's about it. See their fries, at least in my opinion, are the worst fast food fries out there. They are just god awful. So to improve them, they apparently decided to just, make them bigger...yeah.

So there you go, if you want some bigger crap-tastic fries, hop into Burger King! Yay!

Thursday, December 1, 2011

What the Hell is a "McGangBang"

Yeah, no typo there, apparently there is a creation out there in the food world known as a "McGangBang."  I was educated on this fact thanks to a Twitter trend earlier today.  When I first read it I thought there was a story going around about a McDonald's themed porn movie or something, but come to find out the McGangBang is a sandwich some crazy McDonald's fan came up with and I guess the idea has spread.

The sandwich consists of inserting a McChicken Sandwich INSIDE a McDouble.  So yes, a sandwich in a sandwich, hamburger and chicken together, a total WTF monstrosity of a sandwich.  I guess the key here is that these are both dollar menu items, so you can get this giant creation for just over 2 bucks.  I guess this has to be somewhat good if everyone is trying it, but the mix of chicken and beef just sounds odd.

So now if you want to see what this trend is all about, you can be daring it and try it for a couple of bucks.  Somehow I tend to believe that McDonalds won't be adding this to the regular menu based on the name alone, but believe it or not this sandwich has caught on to the point that some McDonald's employees know what it is and will make it upon request.  There is even a trend on YouTube of people driving through and ordering McGangBangs and taping the reactions.  If you've tried the McGangBang let us know what you think, is it worth the hype?

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Culvers 3 Cheese Butter Burger with Cheese Curds


Since the Phoenix Metro West Side is slow coming when it comes to some of these places this was my first trip to Culver's and I sure wasn't disappointed!

I had the 3 Cheese Butter Burger with a side of cheese curds and buddy it was just what The Fungus Ordered!

American, Swiss & Cheddar cheeses add that gooey and tart flavor to the already powerful punch these butter based buns and burgers offer. The crispy exterior of the meat is enhanced by, holy shit, actual seasoning on the meat! You get that delicious crisp bite and then push forward into a juicy, buttery, foodgasm of beef and cheese! The bun, delicious and subtle, not doughy and overpowering like many fast food breads is almost as fun to eat.

The fried curd is a must here, salty and fried to golden brown perfection the cheese curds are nothing like Uncle Silvio's mozzarella sticks, but the authentic Wisconsin cheese and care that's taken to keep these curds fried and not over fried is worth the eventual triple bypass!

The real winner here was my family who all managed to eat a filling dinner (5 of us!) for just over $30.00.

Seasons Eatings!

Related: Is Culvers Better than Smashburger?
Five Guys and Culvers

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Fungus Neck's Midnight Snack #1

I used to be a grilled cheezus kinda guy. Midnight was for snacking and the tasty combination of fried bread and cheese was right up my ally!

That is until I discovered, the pepperoni cheezus!

Standard fare here at first, bread, butter, cheese... then you add a few slices of pepperoni and some tomato sauce or pizza sauce to the inner workings of the sandwich. What you walk away with is a taste explosion that more than resembles a nice slice of pepperoni pizza!

Now, I prefer turkey pepperoni, only because the flavor is slightly milder and works well without being overwhelming.

Try it, love it, send me $2.00!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

The Arby's Beef 'n Cheddar Sauce Dilema

While this post may mainly be about the Arby's Beef 'n Cheddar sandwich, it's also a bit of a personal retrospective on my experiences with Arby's over the years.  Back in the 80's was the first time I remember having Arby's.  There was a stand alone Arby's at the mall, not a food court full of teenagers, but just an Arby's right there with the rest of the stores which made it a nice little unique stop at the mall.  

As a kid back then it was always an Arby's Jr. for me.  As the years when on, I upgraded to the regular Arby's, which was just the bigger version of the Jr.  Later on as I became more open to try new things, the Arby's cheddar melt and even the swiss melt were great options to change things up now and then.  Finally, the number one choice to grab became the Arby's Beef 'n Cheddar.  It was an upgrade from a cheddar melt at the time in that it came on an onion roll and was a bit bigger.  This became the regular choice for years to come when hitting Arby's, until 1 fateful day a few years ago. 

I remember the day well, we chose to eat at Arby's that day and of course I got the usual Beef 'n Cheddar meal.  As I sat and took the first bite, something was terribly wrong.  The taste was totally different, I didn't know what the hell was going on, but after closer inspection I noticed that Arby's messed up and put some sort of sauce on it.  After pointing this out to a cashier, I was informed that that's how they make them now.  WHAT?  Now for years, Arby's had a selection of "Arby's sauce" and "Horsey sauce" (still don't know what the hell horsey sauce is) readily available at the table, but I always steered clear because no sauces were needed.  Now they've taken the best sandwich there and added some weird sauce that changes everything?

I think just now all these years later is the first time I've taken the time to actually look up what they added to the Beef 'n Cheddar, and it's described as a "zesty Red Ranch sauce" on the Arby's website.  I just don't get it, it was great before, and if anyone wanted sauce they could have added it themselves.  Because of this, my choices have varied when I go to Arby's.  Don't get me wrong, I don't HATE the modern Beef 'n Cheddar and I'll still have one here or there especially since Arby's has a lot of great coupons that make for a real deal, but because of the sauce it's not the ultimate "go to" sandwich it once was. 

Are you a Beef 'n Cheddar fan?  If so, from what era?  How do you see it....sauce or no sauce???

Friday, November 11, 2011

Raising Canes Chicken Fingers in Phoenix AZ Review

Raising Canes in Phoenix AZ, kicks major ass. I love me some chicken but it is kind of hard to find some good chicken. KFC is slimey and weird, Churchs blagh, even Chik Fil A sometimes leaves me with a eh feeling. So finding a place that does chicken right is a blessing. They promise that their chicken is always fresh, never frozen. And the taste is there. They do a system somewhat similar to In N Out Burger. A basic menu of 4 selections, and off you go.

I did the sandwich, which was lettuce, 3 strips, and the Canes Sauce. What is it? No idea, but it is damn delicious. The fries are the old crinkly cut fries, and you can also get a side of texas toast with an order which I think if the toast was used on the sandwich instead of the current bread, it would be the best chicken sandwich of all time.

I hit the drive thru but looking through the windows the inside had a really cool atmosphere, any place that has a Total Recall poster on the wall instantly gets my approval. The service was over the top great. Very friendly, fast, and good.

Next time I am thinking about a chicken sandwich, I am skipping Chik Fil A and heading to Canes instead. You should do the same. They even offer their own home made lemonade and sweet tea!

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

How to Cook the Perfect Hard Boiled Egg

For anyone that has read our blog over the past year, I don't post too often and focus more on the "behind the scenes" elements of the site, but lately I've learned a few basic things in the kitchen that I've noticed many people on the Internet question.  So today I bring you instructions for cooking a perfect hard boiled egg.

With so much to think about with how high the stove should be, how long the eggs should cook, there are a lot of opinions out there.  There are no doubt different methods that will achieve boiling the egg, but you don't want an egg that is undercooked or overcooked. 

*The first step is to put the eggs in the pan, and fill with water so the eggs are fully submerged

*Next put the pan on the stove and set it to "high"

*Let the eggs sit on high until the water is at a "rolling boil," meaning you see large bubbled coming up and burst at the surface of the water.

*When you see the water is at a rolling boil, turn the stove down to "medium" right away, and let the eggs sit at medium for 10 minutes.

*After 10 minutes, remove the pan from the stove and run run cold water over the eggs right after draining out the hot water (this step assures that the yolk will be a nice yellow and not the green or gray color you may see on some hard boiled egg yolks.)

*Let the eggs cool off for around 20 minutes, and you're all set.

This method makes a great egg that's shell is more easily removed than eggs I've dealt with in the past, and the inside is cooked to perfection.  Try out this basic method for cooking a hard boiled egg, and let us know if you got the same great result in the comments below!

Monday, August 22, 2011

Random Villains Snack Time: Hormel Chili Cheese

So it's late at night, and you're hungry and in need of a tasty snack. Try this.

1 can of Hormel chili with no beans.
1 bag of cheddar cheese.
Crackers.
Dr. Pepper or whatever soda or drink you prefer.

Empty the entire can of chili into a big bowl. Then take TWO HANDFULS of cheddar cheese and put in the chili. Stir nice and good.

Microwave for two minutes. Take out and stir.

Boom. Dip crackers in that, and NOM NOM!

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Taco Bell? More like, Taco Fail.

I don't really like Taco Bell. But when you're hungry, and in a hurry, it's a good cheap alternative to McDonalds. And I was hungry today, and in a bit of a hurry, and the only choices were Taco Bell, or McDonalds. So yeah, Taco Bell it was.

I live in Phoenix AZ. The Taco Bell I went to is by my parents house, they love Taco Bell, and I do most of my editing and writing over at their place, so I was asked to get some Taco Bell for them on my way over. Now, this Taco Bell, screws up your order at the very least 9 times out of 10 times. Not joking. Now of course when I go I usually order for a large amount of people, but still, this is your job, it's what you are paid to do, so why not do it properly? Someone tells you what they want, put it in that bag. But today, I had even more problems on top of the usual missing item.

I ordered a large Mountain Dew, a taco party pack, and 2 chalupas. I arrive home and take a drink from my Mountain Dew, which had no syrup in it, just good ol carbonated water, mmm! Fail 1. I then go to grab my chalupas out of the bag, but only find one chalupa in there, the other, is gone. Fail 2. So, I eat, and grab a couple crunchy tacos from the box, I go to pour some mild sauce on it, and when opening the taco shell, I see this....

Really? A teaspoon of the fake meat? I mean REALLY? Anyways, I eat it, and then go to pour some sauce on the next taco and get THIS!


Seriously. I have made many tacos in my lifetime, they are not that hard. What type of people do they hire at Taco Bell that can't even properly put a taco together?

Screwy Soda.

Missing Chalupa.

And disfigured tacos.

It is with this, that I am officially announcing my retirement from eating Taco Bell. Taco Bell, it's been nice, but it's time to move on to other places that don't hire complete idiots to work at their establishments.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Q-TO-U BBQ in Anthem AZ Review

I love me some good BBQ. Thankfully, living here in Arizona, there are many BBQ choices. One better than the other. But I think I have finally found a personal favorite. Q-To-U BBQ in Anthem Arizona. Great food, excellent service, and very reasonably priced. So here is what I got...

Started off with some pulled pork nachos. So many delicious toppings on top with the pulled pork. Some of the best nachos I have ever had.



For my meal, I kept it kind of simple. The Pulled Pork Sandwich. There was so much stuff on their menu it was hard for me to choose exactly what to go with, so I went with this. With a little extra BBQ sauce on it of course. And it turned out to be the very best pulled pork sandwich I have ever had. The BBQ was the perfect mix of sweet and spicy. The meat perfectly cooked. I was in BBQ heaven. And the french fries. Wow.

I plan on visiting this place again soon. And I plan on getting something I have never seen, or heard of before. The Hawg Dawg. It's a smoked sausage, stuffed with cheese, then wrapped in bacon and deep fried. Topped off with onions and their own sweet jalapenos. Yeah, amazing I know.

So if you love BBQ, and you live near or close enough to Anthem. You need to check this place out. Just walking in I was knocked over by the sweet smell of BBQ. Perfect.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Mister G's Pizzeria & More Owns My Heart

Iowa. A place of not too much going on. The American Gothic House. The Field Of Dreams Farm. And one other thing that is simply, amazing. Fried Cauliflower. I have been to Iowa twice, and since my last visit I have searched high and low in Arizona to find this tasty appetizer. Every family owned mom and pop food place I visit the first thing I always look for is fried cauliflower. Trust me, I have searched high and low to find this, and at last, I have.

It took a 45 minute drive from my house to this place, but it was well worth it. Mister G's is the only place that I know of in Arizona that has the ever elusive fried cauliflower. If you have yet to have this, you must. Its well, fried cauliflower, but also has some cheddar cheese in it. It is simply amazing. Dip it in ranch and you will fly high on clouds of yum.

Now, among having fried cauliflower. Mister G's also offers up some pretty tasty pizza. And probably the best sandwich I have had in a long, long time. As many of you loyal readers know I love me a good sandwich. Ham and cheese, lettuce mayo mustard. Simple, but it takes some special toasting of the bread and warming of the ham and melting of the cheese to get it perfect. Mister G's does everything right.

The atmosphere in this place is pretty laid back and cool, the service is fantastic. Every night it seems like there is some type of event going on there. Trivia nights, Game nights, all kinds of other nights. My only gripe with this place is that is it located just too far. If a place like this opened up here in Anthem Arizona it would make a killing. There are only a very small handful of fast food places here and one BBQ place here that I will be reviewing later.

But, if you are in Tempe AZ and want some good food, and some fried cauliflower. Then head on over to Mister G's and tell them the Hungry Jerks sent you.

Visit the Mister G's website for more information!

Monday, April 25, 2011

Mexican Hot Dogs, or, CHIHUAHUAS!


Sorry for the hiatus. But we are back to continue bringing you the treats for your taste buds. And going to start this return off with a little thing I like to call Chihuahuas. Or a Mexican Hot Dog.

It is pretty simple. You take your hot dog and grill it until it has that nice burnt crisp around the outside of it. If you don't like grilled hot dogs then you're a freak because boiled ones are gross. Fact.

After that you take your warm tortilla, and put your crispy dog in the middle. Then you add your favorite mexican food ingredients. I go with just some refried beans, lettuce, tomato, and taco sauce.

Then wrap that bad boy up, and chow down. Boom. You just ate a Chihuahua!

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Thirsty Jerks: Best Soda

Sorry for the lack of posts, been away on vacation, but I'm back! And I decided to settle a great debate and name the best soda. I don't care about your arguments, because I'm the one with the blog, so my point is valid, and yours is not! Ha! Jerk City USA!

Pepsi. Is crap. I was raised on Pepsi and hated it. My parents and Grandparents are Pepsi freaks and it's insane. Sometimes we would get a special treat and have Dr. Pepper, but it was 90% Pepsi in our house, and it sucks. Still to this day now that I am a free man and out on my own, I am stuck with Pepsi as a choice, and I would rather drink moose piss!

Coke. Coke is strange. Coke in a can doesn't taste as good as it does out of the bottle, and Coke in a bottle doesn't taste as good as it does coming out of a fountain. Coke in restaurants and movie theaters is the best Coke around. Nothing is better at Red Lobster than chowing down on some cheddar bay biscuits and having a nice cold Coke to wash it down. Same goes for going to the movies.

Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew was king when I was a kid. My older brother swore by Mountain Dew so when he had some around, it was the perfect escape from Pepsi. Sadly, Mountain Dew just doesn't taste the same these days.

Dr. Pepper. This is the 2nd best soda around. Soon you will see why. Dr. Pepper isn't coke, and it isn't Pepsi, yet it is widely available everywhere, (except in Payson AZ, for some reason it's called Doc Holiday there.)

And now, this brings me to what I declare the best soda around.....


PIBB XTRA

Pibb is like Dr. Peppers cool hot sister. Dr. Pepper is a cool guy to hang out with, but you're really there to try to get a taste of the really hot older sister. And sometimes, when you can find it, you sneak in and get some action from that hot older sister. See where I live, on the west side of the USA, there is no Pibb outside of fast food places and the occasional restaurant. No Pibb in cans or bottles is available. But last year I did a road trip to Iowa, and I found Pibb in cans and bottles and it was just as good! I hit the small local market in Iowa and bought out their entire stock of Pibb, so for a couple months at home in AZ, I have Pibb in a can. Unlike Coke, Pibb tasted the same out of the can and out of the bottle. Sure it is very similar to Dr. Pepper, but it has that hint of cherry taste in it that really makes it the best. Dr. Pepper does have that new Cherry Dr. Pepper, but it's no Pibb. Pibb is awesome, Pibb is king. That is that.........

Friday, March 4, 2011

Five Guys All The Way: Bacon Cheeseburger All Toppings

Last night was one of those nights. I had planned to make dinner at home, but we forgot an ingredient at the store. Instead of spending all the time going back and buying it and preparing dinner, we decided to get fast food.

My go-to fast food place is definitely Five Guys Burgers and Fries. I am really trying not to eat out much these days, to save dollars and pounds. If I eat out at a "real restaurant," it needs to be someplace good. So this leaves fast food as the likely option when I don't have the time and money. Right now I don't even think about any other places, especially when it comes to burgers.

There is a Culver's right next to the Five Guys, and they send many coupons in the mail, but I just don't know if they are any good. I posted about the Culvers Burgers in the Culvers vs. Smashburger review piece, but I didn't get any feedback about them.

Here's what I order from Five Guys: The Bacon Cheeseburger All The Way. Five Guys has a simple menu, but they offer man many burger toppings. All the topping are clearly listed on the menu and the top row of toppings is in black. "All the way" means all the toppings in black. At my local Five Guys, a bacon cheesburger is 5.99 with whatever toppings you want. Hold the bacon, and get a "regular" cheeseburger for $5.49. One thing to know about Five Guys is a regular burger is a double burger, I believe it is 1/2 pound of beef. A "Little" Hamburger is $3.59 here and is larger than the premium burgers at most fast food places.

A regular order of french fries runs around $2.99, which seems expensive until you consider that you get around 3 orders worth of fries. They fry up a bunch of fresh potatoes and, after filling the cup and putting it in your bag, they throw a whole bunch of fries in the bag. The loose fries could easily fill another cup, and a whole family could split a regular order of fries.

In my area, when it comes to burger and fries options, I have McDonalds, BK, Wendy's, Steak n Shake, White Castle, and Big Boy. There are also casual dining options like TGI Friday's and Ruby Tuesday, but those places don't really do anything special with burgers to justify the prices onse you factor in tipping.

Five Guys is the only place that does anything resembling a quality burger, and really isn't any more expensive than Wendy's when it comes to prices for premium/special burgers in the same weightclass. It's also the only place that does anything resembling "real" fries. Maybe I'm picky because I grew up with Thrashers French Fries, but I think french fries should be potatoes that are sliced and deep fried. They should be crisp on the outside and have hot soft potato in the inside. They should not be limp and skinny, and the insides should not be hollow. I think McDonalds fries are tasty, but they are lacking. They are McFries. Wendy's is at least trying to so something with their new Sea Salt Fries, but they are going to end up flopping.

So for me it's Five Guys All the Way, All The Way.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Is Culver's Better than Smashburger? Are Burgers from Either Place Any Good?

I was just reading our Phoenix Smashburger Review, and I was curious about what other people had to say. I don't have a Smashburger in my area. I think the best fast food burger I've had was at Five Guys Burgers and Fries. Five Guys is a little more expensive than most places, but the food is really good and the portions are huge. I like how they dump a bunch of fries in the bag after filling the container to overflowing. Plus, I have cut back on eating out. I try to avoid fast food in general, but if I do I go for quality. The same goes for my steaks- I would rather have a really good expensive steak every once in awhile than have low quality beef on a regular basis.

I was looking into Smashburger a little more when I came across this Phoenix New Times article comparing Smashburger to Culver's. Really? I DO have Culvers burgers in my area, but I have never ordered there. The reason? The food doesn't look too great in their ads/mailers. I figure if the food doesn't even look like much in a picture I'm probably not going to be delighted in person. Their marketing materials make Culver's look like a sort of Dairy Queen or maybe Sonic type joint. Those places have their roles in the fast food market, but I don't exactly think of gourmet burgers.

In fact, in the New Times article the Culver's burger looks underwhelming. The patty looks somewhat like a Steak 'n Shake patty. I know Roger Ebert loves the place, and he seems like a nice guy, but Steak 'n Shake has lousy burgers and decent shakes. The Culver's picture also shows cheese that is not even close to being melted. Good burgers are big and juicy. They use quality meat and fresh toppings. The cheese on burgers should be gooey or at least somewhat melted. It should not resemble anything from a school cafeteria or hospital.

The bad news for Smashburger? The Smashburger Lost to the completely unappetizing Culver's burger, at least according to the Phoenix New Times reviewer. Though, the fact that his article is ostensibly about gourmet burgers and the "new burger kings", yet the best he could come up with was Culver's vs. Smashburger, makes one question his credentials.

So, Smashburger seems to get some bad reviews. Is their burger really lousy? Is Culver's any good? Or are they just good in comparison to Smashburger? Should I try out one the dozens of Culver's coupons I get in the mail or stick to my $11 Five Guys meal?

Monday, February 21, 2011

Mackys Grill in Payson AZ: The Ooey Gooey Burger


I was told about Mackys Grill nonstop pretty much, drivin to the point of madness. This place got so hyped up to the point that I really didn't even wanna go, but I did, and what happened?

Madness. Delicious madness. I had myself some fried pickles for the first time ever, and they were magical. Then came the main course, the Ooey Gooey Burger. Three cheese melted on top of the burger patty, with some mayo and lettuce. Im sure an artery or two got clogged up, but it was damn good.

Now, I also discovered another strange thing. There is no such thing as Dr Pepper in Payson AZ. They have Doc Holiday. Tastes the same, but named different, no idea why, but it was awesome.

Mackys Grill doesn't have a website, so well just link the map. Because if you ever find yourself out in Payson AZ for whatever reason, and are looking to grab a bite to eat, go here. You will be a happy camper.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Sonic Drink Combos: Whats Your Poison?

I'm not a huge fan of Sonic. But where I live there isn't much choice. It's Sonic, or McDonalds. But one thing Sonic does that makes me a happy guy, is provide an endless variety of drinks. Not many people notice it, or even think about it, but you can add almost any flavor to any drink you want.

Recently I have discovered the glorious taste of Sprite with watermelon flavor. Holy dear it is delicious. But there are literally hundreds of different varieties you can go with. So, we ask you readers, when you hit Sonic, what flavors do you mix up to create the ultimate drink??

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Smashburger Thoughts- Restaurant Review Smashburger Phoenix Arizona

Went into Smashburger on 59th and Thunderbird in Phoenix for the first time the other day. Their logo is weird because from afar, you might mistake this place for Game Stop. Anyways, Smashburger actually contacted us and inquired about a review. Something about free samples of food and all that, but to stay true to our readers I did not go through with it. I went in as a normal paying customer. Mainly for the fact that special treatment woulda meant a biased review. And damnit, I tell it how it is!

Smashburger. The place was empty pretty much. The inside was kinda boring, not much goin on. Some walls, and some tables and chairs. The service though was very good, pleasant smiling faces all around, making sure you were taken care of. Which was nice, not too many places do this.

The food? Well........meh. I got the BBQ Bacon Burger. And it tasted like, a BBQ Bacon Burger. I know that sounds weird but, it just tasted normal to me. Nothing stood out or blew my mind when I took a bite. My main feeling on burger places is, if I can make a better burger at home, then you're not doin a good enough job. This burger was pretty simple and tasted like something I could get or make anywhere.

The fries, I got the Smash Fries and they are pretty gross. I wasn't diggin all the oils and crap thrown on them, just make me some fries with some nice seasoning on them. Don't try to make them all fancy.

I wouldn't recommend this place if you're a die hard burger fan. I would choose Five Guys over this place any day. But, I might have to try Smashburger at least one more time, maybe they were having an off day?

You can check out the menu and find locations near you at SmashBurger.com.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Thanks For Nothing: Carls Jr.

I shoulda known I was doomed from the start. Carls Jr. is one of those idiotic places where in some parts of the country they are called Carls Jr. and other parts it's called Hardees. Why? There is no point. Stop being stupid. ANYways...

Wasn't really hungry, but in the mood for a little snack while I worked tonight. This was hours and hours after the Sonic incident mentioned in a previous blog. And my parents wanted some hamburgers, so I went to pick up some Carls Jr. And all I wanted was a simple chili cheese fries, and a coke. Pretty easy right?

Wrong.

I get back and open up the box of chili cheese fries and find this monstrosity....

Now what the hell am I supposed to do with that? I got a giant handful of fries, and a splash of chili with a sprinkle of cheese slopped into it. Look at that! Would ya look at that?! Seriously. How do you screw up pouring chili on top of fries?

And now for the really weird part. A first time ever problem at a drive thru. Now we have all been given a messed up order, or a wacky looking crapfest like my chili cheese fries, but this just confused me to no end.... I take a bite out of my pathetic looking chili cheese fries, and take a drink of my........warm coke?! My coke, had NO ice in it. And my parents, and nephews drinks? NO ICE. Now, it's not that big of a deal, because we have ice, it's just weird. Why would you not put ice in someones drink order?

With the lack of ice, and the half attempt at putting chili on fries, I dub this Carls Jr. as the LAZIEST fast food place around. Sure Sonic and other places screw up an order here and there, but they at least try. Carls Jr. didn't even try. They failed.

Thanks for nothing Carls Jr.

Thanks For Nothing: Sonic!

So I live up in Anthem AZ. Not much fast food wise around these parts. So Sonic is usually where I have to make a trip to get my wife some lunch since she works at home. So today, was the usual Sonic trip, but something didn't seem right...............

First thing I notice, is instead of the usual chirpy lovely sounds of some chick on the drive thru speaker, its some dude. Hmmm ok, and then I notice instead of the usual girls skating around handing out food, its dudes in jackets. Strange. Every Sonic I've ever been to, its basically almost all females everywhere.

So I order the same thing I get every time. A medium number 2 for my wife, with mayo and ketchup, no tomatoes, no lettuce, and fries with a cherry limeade. And for me, medium number 1, no tomatoes, no onions, and tots with a coke with chocolate flavoring (try it, its UHMAZING.) Well dudeche bag on the intercom re-reads my order and reads mine as having it with no tomatoes and no lettuce. I inform him that I wanted it with no tomatoes, no onions. He says to hold on one second, assuming corrections were made. And he tells me to pull around.

I sit there and wait, my food comes out and the guy re-reads my order, and reads it correct. I get home, only to find both of our hamburgers having NO TOMATOES NO LETTUCE. REALLY? Really? I corrected this guy after he messed it up the first time, and he STILL manages to mess it up!

So thanks for nothing Sonic, because of your epic fail I had to settle with just some damn tater tots for lunch. Go F yourself!

Monday, January 31, 2011

Food That Makes You Go Poop: Totinos Pizza Rolls

Yes, I know all food in some way or another makes you go take a crap at some point, but there are certain foods that make you go instantly, and you KNOW what food caused the sudden press of the poop NOS button to come rushing. Tonight? Totinos Pizza Rolls.

Totinos Pizza Rolls have been around for years and years and have always been a favorite of mine ever since I was a little kid. I mean how can you not be a fan of pizza rolls?? Its the taste of a pizza, wrapped up in bite size treats! Well alright I have yet to ever taste a pizza that is anything close to tasting like a pizza roll but who cares? They're delicious!

I have many problems with these bad boys though, I always make too many. I think just 10 or so will do the snackin trick, but then I end up cooking 30 (the image to the left is the actual rolls right after I took them out of the oven). And I always manage to get down 25 or so, before I get too full and can't finish. But then I see only 5 left and try to stuff the remaining 5 down. Then not 30 minutes later, I feel the bubble guts, and everything in my stomach shifting around, and a trip to the toilet is in order.

That is where I am now. I found it only fitting that I write this article about food that makes you rush to take a poop, while taking the Totinos Poop. (Yes, I do have a little stand in my bathroom that my laptop sits on).

So, if you're a fan of taking a crap, eat some Totinos Pizza Rolls. They'll do the trick.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Taco Bell Beefy Crunch Burrito Review

Many readers of this site know my love/hate relationship with Taco Bell. Everything on their menu is good if not great, but at the same time, makes me go to the bathroom like no other. Saw the commercial for this new burrito and decided to give it a quick try.

Eh.

Its ok. There is more rice than meat in it, the fritos you can barely notice. So the crunch part of it is kinda gone. Of course if you dine in, you might get it, because if you get it to go by the time you get home to eat it, the fritos have gotten a bit soggy.

I don't think I'll ever get one of these burritos again. Just did nothing for me. No real spice to it, no crunch, just tasted like mush. Pass on this Taco Bell fans.